I apologize for not updating my blog lately. Frankly, I’ve been deciding and changing my mind, repeatedly, about my first book of poetry, and I haven’t devoted any time to my blog. I had intended to have my book together by August, 2014. That didn’t happen. So I thought I might publish it by the end of 2014. Well, it’s January 1, 2015 (Happy New Year) and I still haven’t published it.
So what’s the problem?
*Decisions: What poems to include, designing the cover, the title, the order of the poems, the font size/style, e-book vs. hardcopy.
*The learning curve: Figuring out how to self-publish and make it look good.
*Doubt and confusion: This is coming from not having enough poems that belong in the same book (the number of pages necessary to justify the price of a book vs. the number of poems).
For now, I’m letting it settle. I’ll take a look at it with fresh eyes in the new year.
I haven’t been writing any poetry of late, but it’s not writer’s block this time.
For those out there who still poo-poo the term “writer’s block” let me clarify something that I don’t think I mentioned in previous blogs: I believe there is a difference between the normal ebb and flow of not being inspired/not writing and the not-so-normal disconnection that comes from being blocked. Being blocked isn’t as simple as just not knowing what to write, how to write it, or where to start. That may just require making decisions and sticking to it. In my experience, writer’s block is beyond that. It’s a disconnection that is almost tangible.
What I had in early 2014 felt lonely and scary. I’ve had many periods in my life when I didn’t have ideas or couldn’t write something the way I wanted to, but I had never experienced that disconnect before. What I’ve had lately is just a normal part of the ebb and flow of writing and inspiration. This does not concern me. I don’t consider it to be writer’s block. It happens. The difference between then and now is that I still feel the connection to my poetic self right now (even though I am not getting ideas or writing poems). That connection was missing when I had writer’s block. I don’t feel like something is missing right now. It’s just resting. And that’s okay. It’s normal. Maybe it’s even necessary!
I started this blog as a forum to help others (and myself) with the struggles of writing by sharing my experiences. This has been my struggle lately: Making decisions for my book seems to interrupt my poetic flow. It isn’t blocked, just diverted. Because of that, I would love it if someone else could do this part for me, but that’s not an option…at least not right now. I’m aware that poetry is not a big seller and that mainstream publishers are reportedly not interested in publishing poetry unless the author is already someone famous. Plus, the odds are that I won’t make much, if any, money once I do publish my book, so paying an editor isn’t economically justifiable at this point. Ironically, I’m going to help a fellow writer edit her novel, yet I keep questioning my choices for my own book.
I need to make a decision, already!…and stick wih it!
Keep good thoughts and keep writing! That’s what I’m doing. You never know what might come of it. 🙂